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The Author and the Mechanic
Log Title: The Author and The Mechanic Characters: Sparkplug, Buster, Spike ' '''Location: Portland ' 'Date: 1987; 2013 ' '''TP: Witwicky "What-If" Universe Summary: Sparkplug's decision in 1984 not to help the Autobots causes a major rift between Spike and his father. In addition to sapping Spike's drive, it also causes him to drift off into daydreams, which results in a costly mistake for Sparkplug's business. But Sparkplug's decision yields some positive results, mainly with the youngest Witwicky, who emerges from his debilitating shyness in his early years to become a published author. ''' 1987 It's been a rough few years, but finally, things are mellowing out for the Witwicky clan. Sparkplug manages to retain his house. He's dealt with 2 angsty sons. Spike's near-idolization of his dad quickly ebbed after he nixed the idea of helping the Autobots. Consequently, Spike has suffered. In school in junior high, he was routinely marked in parent/teacher conferences as 'being too much of a dreamer'. And now, as he is helping dad at Witwicky Auto, another problem. This time, Spike was given a vehicle - a BMW from one of Witwicky Auto's most loyal (and lucrative customers). The goal - simple oil change. Spike could probably do it with his eyes closed. But as usual, Spike's mind wandered a bit. And yesterday, the customer freaked out as his car started to smoke on the Interstate. Looking under, he saw the culprit - an open oil cap! The customer is at Witwicky Auto, frowning, and talking to Sparkplug. "William - I LIKE you - you've ALWAYS treated me well. But this... " He frowns. "This is purely amateur - I am NOT paying for this - I want my engine cleaned, and I want a rental car." Spike is in the lounge, doing his homework. But he winds up idling. And then picking up a Kurt Vonnegut book. He continues to nurse a Dr. Pepper that he got from the soda machine. Sparkplug smiles unctuously, taking off his cap and rubbing his head in consternation. "Of course! Of course! And, again, I'm very sorry... this won't happen again. I'll get you the rental keys right away, and we'll have your car cleaned up and ready for you tomorrow morning when we open - of course no charge." The customer smiles curtly, "These..things...happen...I know..." he sighs and waits. Auto repair is a cutthroat business. It doesn't take much to lose customers. Even though he likes Sparkplug - this might just do it. Sparkplug nods. "But not here. Look -- I know this is a mess... how about free oil changes for a year? I don't want to lose my most valuable customer." The customer looks up and thinks. He nods. "Look...I'm not ... trying to bilk you, Will..." He leans in and mutters "I do NOT want that kid working on my car EVER again... is that understood?" Sparkplug nods. "Of course. Don't worry about it. From now on, I'll exclusively work on your car myself. And it's my pleasure... you've been a loyal and valued customer." Spike breathes through his nose. Every time he hears about the Autobots, it's like a small paper cut. Even during the worldwide disaster through the Ultimate Doom ep - he had a tinge of envy to the group of humans who were fortunate enough to finally get involved with the Autoots. The humans (an international array of scientists, military advisors, and cultural ambassadors) were more of a 'diplomatic/UN' setup - not the 'family setup' of the 'nowuniverse' Witwicky arrangement. Sparkplug shakes his head, heading in to talk to his son. Spike idly reads '''Slaughterhouse Five - planning on defending reading it as a classic as opposed to having to read To Kill A Mockingbird''.' Damn the 'INCOMPLETE" grade - he's making a statement. Sparkplug raps his knuckles on Spike's door to signal his arrival, and then just pushes the door open. Spike looks up and gives a nod of acknowledgement "Heayh" - and continues reading. Sparkplug barks, "Stand up." Spike rolls his eyes. He's as bad as Buster. He slouches up and looks at his father. Sparkplug glowers. "You left the oil cap off a car belonging to one of our best customers. We might lose him." Buster ALMOST made the honor roll, but thanks to a bad grade in gym, he missed it by *this* much. Spike - straight C+ student. GAME: Spike PASSES an INTELLIGENCE roll of Very High difficulty. Spike thinks...thinks... thinks. "Oh... the BMW..." He breathes out "Sorry - " Spike says 'sorry' like he forgot to tell the cashier to skip the pickles on Sparkplug's cheeseburger. Sparkplug rasps, "SORRY? Spike, if we lose that customer, it will cost the shop, and our family, a lot of money." Spike bites his lower lip and looks at Sparkplug's shoulder, then down at his Dr. Pepper. Spike mumbles "Sorry..." Spike pinches the bridge of his nose. The 'eager to help son who tirelessly pitched in after Susan died' seemed to die in late puberty, replaced by this... lollygagger in front of Sparkplug. Sparkplug says, "You don't seem to appreciate the severity of your mistake, so until you do, you're grounded." Spike looks at Sparkplug and actually starts to laugh. "WHAT?! DAD... I ...made...a...MISTAKE!" He scoffs "You can't GROUND me for a mistake!" Sparkplug rasps, "I can certainly ground you for a mistake, when it is due to carelessness. And if you think you can tell me what I can and can't do, you're sorely mistaken." On top of it all - Spike's presence is starting to be a negative effect on the place. Lots of Sparkplug's subordinates complain that when Spike isn't pulling his weight, he seems to have an air that he is ABOVE them - a huge-ass no-no in this labor-intensive area. Sparkplug says, "No TV... no going out with your friends, and if you don't shape up, I'm taking out all books not directly related to your homework. You need to learn to focus!" Spike frowns and gestures wildly "Dad...have you ever thought...that like - instead of trying to FORCE me into being a damn mechanic, maybe you haven't thought that MAYBE - I'm not cut OUT to be a mechanic. MAYBE..." He gestures again "MAYBE I'm destined for something greater than just fixin' cars?!" Spike frowns "This... " He counters "I can't... This isn't fair!"" Sparkplug says, "What isn't fair is that I pay all the bills around here, and on top of it, I gotta deal with backtalk from you! You don't want to be mechanic, fine -- when you graduate high school and can live on your own, there's the door. But while you're under my roof, you'll earn your keep around here, and you'll do a good job or else!" Spike frowns, sputtering. It's his problem since the oil rig accident - he THINKS he's destined, but has been so bummed since he was denied a life with the Autobots, EVERYTHING seems beneath that life - and as a result, he hasn't put much effort into a possible post-high school career. Spike thinks. He quietly begins to pack up his backpack, putting his homework - and his book into his backpack. He leers at his dad. "Wow... it's like you're counting the days until you can kick me out." Spike frowns. He's going to Chip Chase's. They're still friends. Chip routinely tries to guide Spike into getting some initiative since the Autobots are NOT an option, but as Chip enters his senior year, he's even finding it hard to encourage his friend as his own work is ramping up - lots of colleges are knocking at his door. Sparkplug says, "No, I'm counting the days 'til you grow up and start acting like a man!" Sparkplug says, "Where do you think you're going?" Spike mutters "Chip's." Sparkplug rasps, "What part of 'grounded' did you not understand?" Sparkplug has this weird effect on Spike. His looming presence seems to wear on his spine. He shrinks from his dad. "Fine - " Spike folds his arms and looks at Sparkplug. Sparkplug rasps, "Now, let me see your homework." Spike's eyes widen. "Dad, I'm not 14!" Sparkplug rasps, "Then stop acting like you're 12. Now show me your homework!" Spike frowns and shows him the Trig (out of 20 questions, he's filled in the 4 that he knew the answer to), the book report which begins with 'While I know 'To Kill a Mockingbird' is a classic, I am choosing to do a report on Kurt Vonnegut's 'Slaughterhouse Five' because it better reflects our time right now.' Spike scratches his peach fuzz skin. The Chemistry homework at least is in pretty good shape. Sparkplug shakes his head. "You think you're smarter than your teachers now, too?" he asks, brandishing the book report. Spike looks down at his work. Sparkplug's insults again have that papercut effect. Not hard, but it nicks repeatedly. Spike mumbles "She's like 90 - " 'Sparkplug rasps, "Experience, lad. You should learn to appreciate it." Spike points "And 'I' plan on writing TEN pages instead of Five, so I'm NOT avoiding work - in fact, I'm doing extra!" Sparkplug tears up the book report. "You'll do what you're asked, whether you like it or not. THAT is the lesson here." Spike doesn't have an answer, and doesn't look at his dad. Spike slouches a bit and puts his hand in his face, dragging it down tho his chin. "Fine..." Spike scratches his unkmept hair. "Can I go home now?" Sparkplug rasps, "You'll stay here 'til I ready to go home, and you'll come back with me. In the meantime, get on that homework. I want it DONE by the end of my shift." Spike's eyes widen, "Dad, that's like THREE hours away!" He adds "I COULD - but it's gonna be wrong, I'd rather do it RIGHT..." Spike points "TRIG, AND THAT BOOK REPORT..." He shakes his head. "That's like... IMPOSSIBLE!" Sparkplug says, "You're going to have plenty of time, because I'm going to be busy for several hours fixing YOUR mess. And you better have it done - and right - because I'm going to be checking your homework every day for the foreseeable future, until you stop this bullshit and start acting like a man." "Mess", "Bullshit" "act like a man" Spike doesn't look at his dad, but his eyes begin to well slightly. He listlessly sits down and opens his Trig book. Spike thinks o o o ("I hate you - if mom was alive, she wouldn't have put up with you constantly ragging on me") Sparkplug rasps, "I'll be checking on you regularly.... and I'd better see PROGRESS." One of Sparkplug's GOOD employees - Stan - his actual second in command knocks on the door, looks in, gives Spike a HARD look of contempt, then lowers his voice. "Sorry, boss - the hydrolic lift is stuck again." Spike tries to focus on Trig, but Sparkplug's comments just make it that much harder to think. Sparkplug turns around, and slams the door behind him. "I'll take care of it, Stan," he says, struggling to contain his anger. He's got a job to do. 9:15 p.m. After his 5 p.m. closing time, Sparkplug begins the time-consuming, grueling task of degreasing and scouring burned-on oil from Spike's mess: the BMW. Not only is oil covering the exterior of the engine, it's on the pipes, hoses, alternator, and radiator. Once it's degreased and cleaned, Sparkplug runs the car to ensure the no more smoke/steam is coming from the hood. Exhausted, he goes back into the employee lounge where Spike is. Sparkplug frowns, but the toils of the day have sapped much of his anger. "Let's see your work…" Spike quietly hands over the work. The problems on the Trig homework are complete. The "To Kill a Mockingbird" book report is finished, but with an array of run-on sentences and incoherent transitions - it looks like a 'phone-it-in' gesture. Sparkplug thumbs through the work, looking at the Trig. "Good.." He then looks at the book report. "It's done, I guess. Maybe if your teacher is generous, you'll be a 'B' - but that's a big 'if'." He sighs, looking at his son like pet who just chewed up a pair of shoes. "C'mon - let's go." Spike again goes silent and trods to his dad's pickup. The drive home takes about 30 minutes. Spike continually looks out his passenger side window. Sparkplug pauses at a stoplight. "I… just don't understand you sometimes, Spike." He frowns, "You think I WANT to be a hardass? You think I LIKE having to double-check EVERYTHING you do?" He smiles sarcastically. "Heh - you think you have it hard now - just you WAIT until real-life gives you a few punches. Just wait until YOU have to keep a roof over your head. Just wait until YOU have to hold down a job that would get you fired for EXACTLY what you did today." He shakes his head and finishes "Oh, you're going to learn, TRUST me. Once you graduate, you're going to be in for a RUDE awakening if you keep it up with your attitude." Sparkplug, despite their fallout, is still "Mr. Invincible" in Spike's book. To the point where he can't even think of a comeback. Instead, he continues to look out at his window, thinking back to when Optimus Prime saved their lives. If he knew now what the results would have been, he would have joined up with the Autobots - damned the consequences. For the rest of the drive home, Spike deliberately looks out his side of the window, not giving his dad a look of acknowledgement. '''Years Pass... Time has a way of healing wounds. In 1992, Sparkplug is stricken by a major heart attack. It's his only health complication (the cerebreal aneurysm he got, not to mention the injuries with the bots are non-existent in this universe). A tearful Spike vows at Sparkplug's bedside while he's in ICU that he will shape up. And during the 4 months that Sparkplug was out - Spike does a 180 - gaining the favor of even Stan. Witwicky Auto prospers - albeit middle-class prospers. Spike marries a woman who he met at a bar, they routinely partied, but after Sparkplug's heart attack, Spike took on a great new seriousness. 2013 Spike, Angie (Spike's wife), and Sparkplug's three grandkids are at Common Grounds - an independent bookstore - for Buster's book signing. Sparkplug's bustling 3 grandkids (David (9), Olivia (5), and Susan (14)) are in their own respective areas of the bookstore. What's more - in the past 2 years when Spike took over as manager/owner of Witwicky Auto - the organization has earned an A+ in the Better Business Bureau, a 5-star Angies List rating, and was regarded as 'One of the 50 most ethical businesses in Portland' - these honors have come in the past month, making it a total vindication of Sparkplug's parenting - he raised a successful author AND a celebrated mechanic! Sparkplug beams! He's wearing his best -- and only -- suit, and he's brought proudly Buster's new (and unread) book for his son to sign. Jesse, Buster's PR person, is in the backroom with Buster. She straightens Buster's tie. A few days ago, Spike posted a well written blog on Witwicky Auto's website under a quizzical 'On another note' link. In addition, Spike's untapped ambassador skills has resulted in him hiring a crack team of his own as Sparkplug's team retires. They gel almost seamlessly. There hasn't been a turnover in almost eight years. Jesse pats Buster, "Look...I know planning for 60 attendees was...ambitious - but 30 isn't bad. Just remember - your social media presence is great. And shows like "Cheers" took a long time to get their footing. She grins and kisses Buster's cheek. "OK, go get 'em tiger!" Spike smiles at his dad. Spike sits down and says "Angie and I will buy a copy. We just wanted to buy it here." Sparkplug - he may not be in the history books as his universe companion is - but his health is remarkably spry for his age. Sparkplug nods. "Right. Well, Buster gave me this one. It's a proof." He beams. His son, the writer. Who'd have thought? Spike smiles slightly. Overshadowed by his brother again. "Yeah..." Buster has arrived. Jesse appears. "Thank you ALL for coming. Now... the author - who JUST had a review published in the New York Times!!" (a few enthusiastic patrons boo at that) Jesse grins, "Heyah, ANY review is good. And let it be known... the New York Times published a mediocre review as well...of a certain author named George Martin!" (which the small crowd eats up - about 20 are Buster's students, meaning about 7 or 8 came in on their own). Spike thinks: 'Salon, New York Times, and Library Journal gives Buster a review.' He would gloat that some are mediocre, but he realizes how hard it is to even get IN those magazines for review. What's Spike done? Produced three kids, and with his management, Witwicky Auto got a new marquee that now reads "Witwicky Auto: Serving Portland for 25 Years" Buster comes out, waving jokily as if to a grand applause. He gives his family a sincere wave and smile, and goes to sit behind tall piles of his new book. Jesse leans in before the first fan comes, she whispers "Just remember, these people will get OTHERS to read the book, so don't think of it as 30 sold, think of it as potentially 90!" She then kisses Buster's cheek and lets the author do the schmoozing. Buster breathes thanks to Jesse, and puts on his sincerest fake smile as he shakes his head at how many of his students are giving him equally-insincere flattery about a book few of them have actually read. Spike gets up (he doesn't have a suit - just a nice pair of slacks and a pressed shirt) to let Angie in. Angie helps Sparkplug get up and hands him a coffee. "Here yah go!" Spike stands in line, getting that occasional 'going through the motions' glaze in his eyes. Sparkplug grins, slowly climbing to his feet to get in the queue, WAY more impressed than Jesse at the 30-some people here, not realizing how many of them are Buster's students, looking for brownie points. Brandon, a bespeckled 14-year-old is first. He shyly mutters "Hi... I read this in like 16 hours - I can't WAIT for book 2!" Buster grins - a real smile in response to the youngster's enthusiasm. "And what's your name? And to whom should I dedicate this?" Brandon says shyly "Brandon." Buster grin. "Brandon, huh? I'll have to see if there's room for a brave teen-aged boy named Brandon in my next book!" He signs the copy, Keep reading! Buster Witwicky Brandon looks on in wonder. "REALLY!" Buster grins at Brandon. "Really," he grins. Sparkplug gets a brief 'grandpa' fix as Olivia and David come. "Dad! Mom! Can we buy a book!" Spike grins tiredly and fishes out two $10s. Ouch - this visit is costly. Especially since two of Buster's books are going to run $50 for two. "Here yah go..." David, the Witwicky heir shoots a toothy grin and grandpa and goes back to the kids section." Sparkplug grins. "You're raisin' them right, Spike." Louis - next to Brandon, about twice Brandon's age, and about three times his weight, has TWO of Buster's books. His nasally voice declares "ONE book is for ME to read, the NEXT book I want signed because when this series is complete, it'll be worth HUNDREDS!" Buster frowns to the next in line. "One autograph only, please," he says coldly. "There's a line." Spike looks longingly at Buster and his thrones - THRONES of admirers. He blinks, "Huh dad? Oh, thanks.." He looks at Angie. "Angie and I have one-hour reading quiet time for Calvin and Olivia - Susan, obviously - has her own homework." Louis - there's one in every book signing. He points "To my good friend Louis - thanks for everything." Buster turns back to Louis. "Of course." He signs just what he asks, on the first book. Spike wants to bring up the Angie's List 5-star ratings to dad. This is REALLY big. But... yeah. This isn't the time. This is Buster's night... Sparkplug waits patiently in line, looking proud in a focused way he never is with Spike, since Spike's accomplishments are more day-to-day. Spike says, "OUCH!" Sparkplug grins The students come up. Getting the student discount - a bit of a financial hit to Buster's revenues. Angie helps Jesse with the refreshments - coffee, iced tea, and very, VERY cheap wine. Cameron, and Carrie - two top students in Buster's class, are the first of the student drove. Cameron grins and says in a formal tone, "Mind signin' this, MISTER WITWICKY?" Buster looks at Cameron with mock-serious formality. "And to whom shall I make this out, miss?" Spike takes a drink of Vingade wine - it's like communion wine. Spike winces, but he quaffs it. Sparkplug nudges Spike as he sees the two co-eds fawning over his son. heh? heh? Cameron grins, "To your favorite student..." Carrie winks, "Oh yeah, right!" Spike smiles politely. Buster signs both books, To my favorite student - Mr Buster Witwicky. Angie returns in line with Spike and Sparkplug. Angie had a rough few years with Sparkplug. For awhile, she was 'the girl Spike got drunk with at the bars'. Now, as a hospital office manager who occasionally takes a bartending shift on the side to pay for a bill or two, she's...well... she's Spike's wife. The students make their way through. Angie, the in-law picks up a book. Ouch - $27.50. She recovers quickly. "Hyeah - Congratulations Buster!" She gives Buster the obligatory 'sister-in-law' hug. Buster accepts the sister-in-law hug in good graces. Unlike Sparkplug, he's never really had a problem with Angie. She's even kinda hot, in a white-trashy kinda way.... Spike thinks about the leak in the dishwasher he has to fix tonight. Hopefully parts won't run more than $50. This month...ouch. Buster's book will likely be charged on the credit card. Jesse keeps tabs on the haul. $400 so far. 'course, Common Grounds will get $150 for the 'room fee' - and the publishers will get their take. Angie's gone. Now, it's Sparkplug's turn. 39 years in Buster's life. Sparkplug's memories - good and bad - his own dad, the army - his capture, Susan - the birth of his son, and his youngest, facing certain death in an oil rig fire with his older son, Spike, and then getting rescued by an alien race, opening 'Witwicky Auto', his retirement. Now, this is added to Sparkplug's tapestry. Spike can only watch this over Sparkplug's shoulder, feeling himself disappearing in Sparkplug and Buster's shadows. Sparkplug's rarely seen soft side appears. He looks at his son and shakes his head, opening the book. "Son...this is... " He adds "I'd be honored." He wipes - not tear - but a bit of moisture from his eye and leans in, muttering "Susan would be so proud right now, son. I'm proud of you. This is... this is really special." Buster grins up at his father. "What can I make this out to, Dad?" he grins, reaching for the book. Sparkplug gushes, "I...I don't - I'm not a writer - you're the writer! Just...whatever you want, son." Buster looks a little teary-eyed himself, as he and his Dad have a special moment between Father and Son. He takes the book, and writes out, 'To the greatest Dad in the world, to whom I owe ALL of my success - Buster." Sparkplug looks at the book, and nods - and nods again. It's those non-verbal communications that the two have become accustomed to. Sure, things were a bit rough after Buster's mother died, but as soon as Sparkplug returned from near certain death from the oil rig, a renewed effort was put forth - which made it all the more easier as Spike turned away from his dad. Sparkplug says humbly "Thank you..." He then heads to the Military History section to collect himself. Leaving... GAME: Spike PASSES a COURAGE roll of Very High difficulty. Spike smiles, feeling more and more like a member of the service sector of the economy. "Heyah... " He smiles at his brother "Congratulations... it's...really...really...really good." Spike adds, lowering his voice "Look, don't give those assholes from the New York Times or Village Voice any mind - the Village Voice is full of hipster douches - you wrote a great work - and you'll be laughing at them in a few years when this becomes required reading in classes." Buster smiles sincerely at Spike. "Thanks! I appreciate that. You should really do some more of your own writing -- I've read your blog, and you have some real talent." Spike shrugs, "It's just...stuff I write to clear my head." He gestures to the book. "I could NEVER think up the universe you created." GAME: Spike PASSES an INTELLIGENCE roll of Very High difficulty. Buster grins. "Nonsense. The best way to write? Buy a typewriter, and just DO it." Spike smiles awkwardly. The two don't really talk. "Thanks..." He rubs the back of his neck "So...when's book two coming out?" Buster says, "Ha! If I had a nickel for every time I've been asked that, I could just retire now." Spike blinks "Oh..." Spike thinks "...that WAS a serious question, I want to know when book 2 is coming out!" Spike stands awkwardly, until the next person in line - a random patron! clears her throat. "Sorry" - she edges in. "I was just browsing, but my curiosity was aroused!" She opens the book, the act pretty much pushes Spike aside. Angie takes Spike's elbow and gestures him to the coffee area. She mumbles "OK, we helped them out - let's see if they help us put up that retaining wall next month!" Spike smiles and kisses Angie's fist. "C'mon, let's get a coffee and round up the gang." Over Spike's shoulder, Jesse shoots Buster a '5' and mouths "Five...hundred!" Buster gives Jesse a grin and goes back to signing books, making sure to give everyone a smile, sincere or no. Buster comes over to Spike as the signing winds down. "Hey, thanks for coming out, and bringing the kids. I really appreciate it." Spike gives an amicable smile at Buster, "Heyah - no problem!" He pauses and then gives an awkward bump to his little brother's shoulder. "...published author!" Buster grins. "Yeah, well -- it'll be your turn next! It'll be a while before my next book is done... it's just an outline right now." Spike gives a sideways smile at Buster, knowing what he said was pretty much said to humor him. Sparkplug returns from the military book section. It looks like he got something in his eye, but it's gone now. Spike finds Sparkplug and gives an uneasy nod. "Heyah - we got school tomorrow, so we're gonna take off." Spike gives a distracted nod to his 3 kids. "OK - say goodbye to unc' Buster and granpa." Susan, David, and Olivia give big hugs to Sparkplug. Susan, the eldest nice has a better grasp of the chain of events, hugs Buster "Congrats again, uncle Buster!" Sparkplug nods to his unremarkable son. "Alright. Me, too." He turns back to his famous son. "I'm proud of you, boy. SO proud of you." Spike walks out with his family. All he got as an "all right" from his dad. And Buster of COURSE had to rub his face into his success all night. The family pile into the decade-old Honda Odyssey and drive back - it's around 9:30, and Spike still has to fix a leak in the dishwasher before going to bed. Sparkplug gives his famous son a few more kudoes, and then heads home to bed himself. Buster hugs his brother's kids, and soaks in the admiration and respect a bit more before heading out to discuss the night's success with Jesse. Jesse helps put away the chairs and fold-out tables. Jesse goes over the details - after the night - he'll clear about $150 - about...$50 less than a Friday night bartending gig where Angie works. Buster grins. "Great, honey! That's fantastic!" Jesse smiles - the scrappy team cleared $150. "OK - AGAIN - Portland is not a book town - the next ten dates are only going to be better!" Jesse smiles. "OK, not EXACTLY and ideal way to spend Spring Break, but still!" Buster smirks. He comes over and gives Jesse a hug and a kiss. "Hey. Like you've said - this is how we build a readership. I'd rather be here with you slingin' books than be just about anywhere else right now." category:What if